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Fred Allen
Fred Allen
(1894 - 1956)
American comedian.
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Fred Allen Quotes and Quotations


California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen | Environment Quotes
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
(A gentleman) is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
- Fred Allen | Ignorance Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
I have just returned from Boston; it is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children - except in self-defense.
- Fred Allen | Family Quotes
She used to be a schoolteacher but she has no class now.
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
The first Sunday I sang in the church choir, two hundred people changed their religion.
- Fred Allen | Religion Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
- Fred Allen | Humorous Quotes


Quote of the Day
I think and think for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.
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