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Don't tell your friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you.

- Logan Pearsall Smith

Unless a man has been taught what to do with success after getting it, the achievement of it must inevitably leave him a prey to boredom.

- Bertrand Russell

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

- Les Dawson

My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.

- Jay Leno

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about a hundred thousand dollars short.

- Mickey Rooney

The Communist is a Socialist in a violent hurry.

- G. W. Gough

I have mental joys and mental health, Mental friends and mental wealth, I've a wife that I love and that loves me; I've all but riches bodily.

- William Blake

There are no ugly women; there are only women who do not know how to look pretty.

- Jean de la Bruyere

There is nothing that fear or hope does not make men believe.

- Vauvenargues

One well-cultivated talent, deepened and enlarged, is worth one hundred shallow faculties.

- William Matthews

The land shall not be sold for ever: for the land is mine; for ye are strangers and sojourners with me.

- Leviticus

In a friend you find a second self.

- Isabelle Norto

Blessed be agriculture! If one does not have too much of it.

- Charles Dudley

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived lives of the parents.

- Carl Jung

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

- Will Rogers

May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart.

- Eskimo proverb

Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm.

- Joseph Addison

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are.

- Oscar Wilde

I'm not convinced that the world is in any worse shape than it ever was. It's just that in this age of almost instantaneous communication, we bear the weight of problems our forefathers only read about after they were solved.

- Burton Hillis

Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst.

- Lin Yutang