Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race.
Learn to use ten minutes intelligently. It will pay you huge dividends.
Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office.
The moment somebody says to me, "This is very risky," is the moment it becomes attractive to me.
Do unto the other feller the way he'd like to do unto you an' do it fust.
Anyone can have an off decade.
Elections in L.A. are so different. Here you've got politicians with phony smiles making false promises to voters with fake boobs and bad toupees.
Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm.
If you constantly think of illness, you eventually become ill; if you believe yourself to be beautiful, you become so.
Life cannot defeat a writer who is in love with writing - for life itself is a writer's love until death.
I know lots more old drunks than old doctors.
The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason.
By prayer, the ability is secured to feel the law of love, to speak according to the law of love, and to do everything in harmony with the law of love.
Young men wish: love, money and health. One day, they'll say: health, money and love.
Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.
How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.
Literature is mostly about sex and not much about having children; and life is the other way around.
It's only by forgetting yourself that you draw near to God.
This is the Law of the Yukon, that only the strong shall thrive; That surely the weak shall perish, and only the fit survive.
Those who are the most happy appear to know it the least; happiness is something that for the most part seems to mainly consist in not knowing it.