Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled.
If you won't be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?
Money, like a queen, gives rank and beauty .
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
'Tis the motive exalts the action, 'Tis the doing, and not the deed.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time.
The first duty of an historian is to be on his guard against his own sympathies.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be; custom will soon render it easy and agreeable.
One enemy is too many; a hundred friends too few.
There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry. ... One of these days is Yesterday ... And the other day I do not worry about is Tomorrow.
Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris.
Work is more fun than fun.
Make sure to send a lazy man for the Angel of Death.
I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice.
A library is thought in cold storage.
Without duty, life is soft and boneless; it cannot hold itself together.
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
Fashion, which elevates the bad to the level of the good, subsequently turns its back on bad and good alike.
There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.