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George Burns
George Burns
(1896 - 1996)
American comedian, actor and writer.
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George Burns Quotes and Quotations


With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
- George Burns | Aging and Old Age Quotes
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.
- George Burns | Right Quotes
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns | Family Quotes
I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
- George Burns | Birthdays and Age Quotes
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
- George Burns | Birthdays and Age Quotes
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
- George Burns | Business Quotes
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family ... in another city.
- George Burns | Family Quotes
I look better, feel better, make love better, and I'll tell you something else ... I never lied better.
- George Burns | Happiness Quotes
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.


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It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.
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