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Jay Leno Quotes and Quotations


My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.
They say hot dogs can kill you. How do you know it's not the bun?
You could do anything in your room at college. You could smoke pot, live in a coed dorm, have a girl. But you couldn't have a . . . hot plate!
- Jay Leno | Education Quotes
Let me give you an idea how long ago they got married. You know where they met? . . . At a Cubs World Series game.
You know who must be very secure in their masculinity? Male ladybugs.
As a politician he does everything to keep out of trouble, often by not asking questions. However, it does bother him that every time the doorbell rings his maid hides in the dryer.
- Jay Leno | Politics Quotes
Elections in L.A. are so different. Here you've got politicians with phony smiles making false promises to voters with fake boobs and bad toupees.
- Jay Leno | Politics Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Jay Leno | Humorous Quotes


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It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.
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