Popular Quotes

If you would be loved, love and be lovable. - Benjamin Franklin Politics is more dangerous than war, for in war you are only killed once. - Winston Churchill The language of friendship is not words, but meanings. - Henry David Thoreau It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have. - Abraham Lincoln The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end. - Benjamin Disraeli

We Can't Afford to Doubt Ourselves I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door-or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

- Joan Rivers | Self-Confidence Quotes

I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.

- Joan Rivers | Self-Confidence Quotes

Looking fifty is great—if you're sixty.

- Joan Rivers | Birthdays and Age Quotes

I hate Billings, Montana. They have a fashion show at Sears Roebuck—no models. You open a catalog and point.

- Joan Rivers | Cities and Travel Quotes

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late, and, thanks to television, you can shop in bed.

- Joan Rivers | Cities and Travel Quotes

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes—and six months later you have to start all over again.

- Joan Rivers | Family Quotes

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

- Joan Rivers | Health Quotes

He loves to eat—he puts mayonnaise on an aspirin.

- Joan Rivers | Insults Quotes

I take him to McDonald's just to watch him eat and see the numbers change.

- Joan Rivers | Insults Quotes

He has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

- Joan Rivers | Looks Quotes

It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.

- Joan Rivers | Sex Quotes