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W. C. Fields Quotes and Quotations

We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whisky.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and, you know, I never even thanked her.
- W. C. Fields | Women Quotes
Women are like elephants. They are interesting to look at, but I wouldn't like to own one.
- W. C. Fields | Women Quotes
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
I exercise self-control and never touch any beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know, I never even thanked her.
Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields | Health Quotes
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, by making a dog play dead.
- W. C. Fields | Love and Marriage Quotes
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields | Money Quotes
When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer."
- W. C. Fields | Money Quotes
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
- W. C. Fields | Success Quotes
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields | Vices and Foibles Quotes

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