Popular Quotes

Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life, I find. - John F. Kennedy Success is never found. Failure is never fatal. Courage is the only thing. - Winston Churchill Don't hate, it's too big a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr. Home is the place, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. - Robert Frost The language of friendship is not words, but meanings. - Henry David Thoreau Marriage is one long conversation checkered by disputes. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

- Bill Cosby

Definition of Father's Day: Same as Mother's Day but you don't spend as much.

- Anonymous

My folks refused to have more than four children after reading that every fifth child born in the world is Chinese.

- Anonymous

No matter what, Dad was always there with solid words of advice . . . "Go ask your mother."

- Alan Ray

Father reading report card: One thing in your favor— with these grades, you couldn't possibly be cheating.

- Jacob Braude

Every small boy wonders why his father didn't go into the ice cream business.

- Anonymous

No matter how old a mother is, she still watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.

- Florida Scott-Maxwell

There are three books my daughter felt were the most important influences in her life: the Bible, her mother's cookbook, and her father's checkbook.

- Joyce Mattingly

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.

- G. Norman Collie

Dad named his first ulcer after me.

- Anonymous

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

- Mark Twain

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

- John Wilmot

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

- Mark Twain

My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive," . . . and hangs up.

- Erma Bombeck

Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.

- Rita Rudner

There's no such thing as a nonworking mother.

- Hester Mundis

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.

- Jewish proverb

MOTHER TO TEENAGER ON SUNDAY MORNING: I believe I heard the clock strike one when you came in last night. teen: Well, I know how much you need your sleep, so it was going to strike ten but I stopped it at one chime.

- Anonymous

I hope I look as good as my mother does when I reach the age she says she isn't.

- Anonymous

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?

- Wendy Liebman

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

- Calvin Trillin