Popular Quotes

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain I can't believe that God plays dice with the universe. - Albert Einstein The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end. - Benjamin Disraeli In Heaven, all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Nietzsche My words fly up, my thoughts remain below; Words without thoughts never to heaven go. - William Shakespeare Marriage is one long conversation checkered by disputes. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and boughr jewelry.

- Rita Rudner | Companionship Quotes

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

- Rita Rudner | Companionship Quotes

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

- Rita Rudner | Peace Quotes

Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.

- Rita Rudner | Births Quotes

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

- Rita Rudner | Births Quotes

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.

- Rita Rudner | Family Quotes

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

- Rita Rudner | Health Quotes

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

- Rita Rudner | Love and Marriage Quotes

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.

- Rita Rudner | Love and Marriage Quotes

Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

- Rita Rudner | Men and Women Quotes

Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.

- Rita Rudner | Men and Women Quotes

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

- Rita Rudner | Men and Women Quotes

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

- Rita Rudner | Money Quotes

Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.

- Rita Rudner | Mothers and Fathers Quotes

Men in high levels of government seldom surf.

- Rita Rudner | Politics Quotes

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

- Rita Rudner | Professions and Work Quotes

All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.

- Rita Rudner | Sex Quotes

Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

- Rita Rudner | Sports Quotes

My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.

- Rita Rudner | Sports Quotes